Doug's Testimony

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1963. As a boy, my mother left my father and me. For a while I was sent to my grandmother's to live there. My father had found a new wife and they were going to have a new baby. They must of felt that it was best that I go away for a time to save any confusion I might have had. It was true because after my mother and father divorced, I am told that I went into an extreme trauma. And still today, I do not have any memories from before the first grade.

Living with Grandma, I received my first exposure that I can remember to God. Grandma was a very hard-line Catholic lady. She was a very strong woman. I started going to church and I would watch the altar boys ring the bell. They would pull down on the rope as hard as they could and when the bell changed it's course, it would pull those boys up in the air. How I longed to do that.

I started reciting prayers to God that my grandmother, aunts and uncle taught me. I was also in awe at the majesty of the church we went to, especially the crucifix that hung behind the altar. It was very graphic of Christ's death on the cross and it amazed me that a man would have to go through that. I didn't really understand why, though.

I then moved back with my dad and new stepmother. I hated her and that new baby that was in my house and I showed it. But later, I came to love them. We started to go to church because my grandmother insisted on it. Later we moved to Minnesota and for a short while we continued to attend Catholic Church but soon it stopped.

My step-grandfather was a Lutheran pastor. He and his wife are very loving people and they showed much kindness to my dad and me. They did not judge us and I felt drawn to them. When we changed states, it was the beginning of me loosing touch with my paternal family and my stepmother's family became the one that replaced them.

My father taught me to be respectful but as I started to enter the teen years, I became rebellious. I love my dad but he was not one to show loving emotion. He expected me to be able to do the work and chores around the house with perfection and to understand his directions the first time. He stopped physically punishing me when I was eight years old but the fear that he would almost paralyzed me when he was in a bad mood and giving me instruction. My stepmother took over the duty of punishment and when I was about eleven years old; she found a reason to "spank" me almost everyday. Later in life, a family member told me that they felt sorry for me and what I suffered through. But at the time, I didn't know any better and even now; I count those days as a blessing in my life. I have forgiven my family for anything and I pray they have forgiven me for my evils.

I started to go to church by myself with my grandfather and grandmother. I listened intently to the messages he gave. God was starting to draw me to Him during this time and I thank God that these two were there for me then.

When I was thirteen, God started speaking to me in dreams. They were mostly about fighting evil and continued until my late twenties. But as the years went by, the dreams were changing, they no longer spoke of warring in the natural but in the spiritual realm. I was scared to tell anyone of these dreams; for fear that I would be locked up in a mental asylum. They probably wouldn't have, but I didn't know, I was a kid. So I started studying the Bible my grandfather gave me. I had my little prayers that I did and those prayers kids ask when they need something but now, I started to have conversational prayer.

When I entered High School, my life started to take a turn downward. My stepmother was now beating me with a joy, it almost seemed. My self-confidence was gone and I lost interest in school and athletics, which I was good in. The more she hit me, the meaner I became. And there was no longer pain, but the need to show her that she was not hurting me and that I was stronger than she was, took over. I became a bully and an intimidator. I was always a little bigger and stronger than most and I used that to my advantage.

I also started to seek other spiritual beliefs. Though I never went into any of them with all my heart, they included Hinduism, pantheism, American Indian, martial arts and my own moral code.

Still, as I was loosing touch with God, He was still keeping in touch with me. He would send people to talk with me and to remind me of His love. And I also watched my grandparents as they prayed and touched people's lives with love.

I met my wife in school, but through my attitude, her parents soon became wary of me and tried to persuade my wife to forget me. We felt like we were Romeo and Juliet. I dropped out of school and tried to make it as an adult. The pressure on us became so great that we ran away to California. We survived by shoplifting. After a month, the police picked us up. She was sent home and I spent two days in the San Diego jail and then released.

When we got back, it got worse and then we made the mistake of leaving again. But my car had died and I stole one. We then started out again for California, financing our trip with gas driveoffs, shoplifting and car burglary. When we were in Wyoming, someone spotted me doing a car burglary and called the police. After the car chase, I was arrested and stayed in jail until they dropped charges and released me to return to Minnesota.

I got off the bus in Nebraska and hitchhiked back. Found my wife and then we headed back to California, hitchhiking this time. A state trooper picked us up and then I spent the next year in jail. Looking back, we were stupid. But it always seems bleaker than it really is and why do we as people always try for the easy way out?

While I was waiting to be tried, my parents came to visit. My dad was sad and as a father, he tried to admonish me. But out of my anger and hardness, I told them to never come back if they didn't have anything good to say. They never did and I lost contact with them. I know my father loved me and I love my dad. He had his own problems and I attribute a lot of what I am to his teaching, so I can not hold anything against him.

During that time of incarceration, God was still with me. I put myself in many dangerous situations but I was always protected and no harm came to me. My grandfather stood by me and came and visited me. He brought me another Bible and I started reading it again. I thank God that I spent this time locked up. It started something that would change my life and the roots of responsibility started to sprout.

After I was released, I reunited with my wife and as work was hard to find in Minnesota, we left for Texas. I found my family and work. But at this time, I was angry and mistrusting of people. I returned the prodigal son but I had no remorse and I treated my family in Texas wrongly. They were loving and understanding anyway. I learned the trade of roofing and started my own business. All I did was work and that time in jail taught me that I was going to work for what I got, not steal.

Later, my wife's family called down there and convinced us to come back. My wife missed her family and we came back. They said that they would do their best to forget the past and work toward the future. They helped us a lot when we returned. We then started building our lives anew and in 1986 officially got married.

God was still calling me and I started to listen to that voice. We started going to church and there was a man at work that was a true Christian and I watched him. We stopped going to church and struggled in our relationship, it was primarily my fault but I was reading the Bible and seeking God. As I look back, I was a fool in my searching but we all come to know Christ in different ways.

We then moved to where we live now and the Jehovah's Witnesses came and talked with my wife. I wanted to understand them and their beliefs, so we started studying with them, I knew I would never join their ranks, though. I was quite knowledgeable of the Bible and I made the study hard for them. I was glad though, because my wife was finally seeking God, until she started to believe the things they were saying.

About this time, we were invited to attend a church here and we did. We met new friends that warned my wife of the Jehovah Witnesses teachings. My wife was saved in that church and we ended our study with the JWs.

Then the man spoken of above took us to a revival meeting and the preacher spoke on 1^st Corinthians 1:30. As he expounded that scripture, I went through a variety of emotions. First, wariness of the speaker's motives, to believing it to be truth what he spoke, to understanding that what he was saying was who I was in Christ and what Christ wanted out of me. To tears of sadness for all those years of misunderstanding that I had, to tears of joy for understanding it now. Then I felt the victory that Jesus paid for me on the cross.

I don't know the exact day I was saved because as a boy, I prayed, they were answered and I knew whom I was talking to. But that night, I received power from On High and my life has not been the same since. As the Holy Spirit guides me to minister to people, it is one great adventure after another. And I do not want to get off of this ride!